


The Wool Over My Eyes

by Ellflc



Series: The mysterious mentality of Voltron [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Fluff at end, God keith is dumb, Lance needs hugs sometimes, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Obnoxious keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-04-30 20:38:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14505015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellflc/pseuds/Ellflc
Summary: When Pidge tries to give Keith hints on how to be a better boyfriend for Lance, they all get more than they bargain for...





	1. Chapter 1

Keith was not being the best of boyfriends right now. Anyone could see that. Whenever Lance was in a bad mood, Keith would be training. Whenever Lance wanted to watch a movie, Keith would complain. Whenever Lance suggested they should visit a planet, Keith would berate him about the mission of Voltron. In short, Keith could most definitely do better.

That's why Pidge felt they had to step in. And so they did, with their knowledge on how relationships thrived. Not that they could recall from any experience, so they relied on what they could see when they visited planets. Anyways, one evening they managed to catch Keith in the dining room. "Keith, can I borrow your help on something with my lion? Sending me weird signals, that's all. Besides, it'd be more fun than helping Coran clean out the archives."

Keith agreed and they went down to the Green Lion, the proud maternal figure to Pidge. "So, how's everything going?"

"Fine, I guess" Keith shrugged, making Pidge eye roll hard.

"You know" Pidge said suavely, "I heard Shiro make quite the move on Lance whilst they were training."

Keith laughed harshly. "And why would I believe you?"

"Because I recorded it. Here I could show you" Pidge started playing the 'recording' they had made of Shiro actually trying to flirt with Allura, with some minor tweaks  _"You know, your eyes really are beautiful when you put your mind to a task. Maybe you and I should do more private training, where nobody can see us.......sharpshooter."_

Keith flushed and gritted his teeth. "What do I do? I can't lose Lance!" 

This gave Pidge the upper hand and they scowled. "You know what you could do? Be there for Lance, be the boyfriend that he wants you to be. Not always moping or training, but there with Lance. Got it?" 

Impressed, Keith responded, "Wow, you do care about Lance." 

"Yeah he got me through a lot of shit with my brother at the Garrison. So you better be good to him!" 

Keith nodded eagerly. "Ok, ok, ok I promise." But inside, the paranoia had only just begun.


	2. Chapter 2

The next few days, Keith was weirdly around with Lance. He would always cuddle with Lance, he would always insist on sleeping together and they always ate next to each other. But the security couldn't last forever. And Lance was finding it slightly creepy.

Eventually, Allura called Lance, Shiro and Pidge on a mission, leaving Keith, Hunk, Allura and Coran in the castle. During that time, Keith made it his mission to interrogate Hunk, Lance's best friend. "So, you and Lance? Pretty good friends, wouldn't you say?"

Internally, Hunk was silently praying Keith wasn't about to stab him so he nervously nodded, "Yeah?"

Keith nodded. "Would you say he and Shiro...hang out a lot together?"

"I-I don't know, sometimes they hit the showers at the same time, occasionally they do shooting practice together. I think they might play video games together?!"

With a sharp grin, Keith nodded again. "Alright. And Shiro, you know if he likes anyone right now?"

"Maybe Allura? Look I don't know man, ok. Shiro does his own thing, I stay out of it. Ask Coran if you want to be a stalker, not me."

So Keith, with his poor judgement skills, did do this and Coran showed him where the Castle security room was and left him to it. Keith went through every video, every time Shiro and Lance shared a joke, every time they revealed something personal to each other, every time they made a snarky comment together about an alien and - Dammnit, why wasn't it Keith instead of Shiro?

Keith began hyperventilating, his palms getting sweatier and sweatier, his stomach doubling over in pain as all that raced through his brain was " _He doesn't love you, he never did, it was always Shiro you idiot!!"_

At that moment though, the trio arrived and Keith raced to find Lance, hugging him tightly. "Oh my god, I'm so glad you're back." 

Lance raised an eyebrow. "Keith, we were gone for like two hours. You're acting like I was almost gone." 

"Right, yeah" Keith forcefully laughed. "So, how was it?" 

"Oh man, it was great. Shiro totally saved the day after these little hostile aliens ganged up on us, then with my charm and his wit we got the crystal!" 

With the mention of Shiro, Keith cringed. "Cool. Um, I'll be right back." He raced into the bathroom where he broke down, screaming, tugging at his hair, his breathing becoming shallower and shallower until he slumped down next to the shower, exhausted. He promised himself one thing though: he would keep Lance.


	3. Chapter 3

From now on, Keith had a deep anger for Shiro. Anytime they trained, Keith would always attack the bots more forcefully than ever, occasionally letting them hit Shiro. Whenever they had to train with their lions, Keith would always mute Shiro. He would never fly with the rest of them. In other words, fuck you Shiro.

Keith now skipped meals, his anger being spent day after day training on the bots, mercilessly attacking them until they no longer resembled Shiro. He could barely be in the same room with Shiro before he could feel an anxiety attack and would have to calm down in another room.

And boy, did he look a mess. He barely slept so he had rings around his eyes. He didn't eat so he felt like vomiting at any moment. His eyes were puffy and red from the tears in his attacks. To cut a long description short: well done Pidge.

Lance became extremely worried for Keith, constantly asking him if he was ok and what was wrong. I mean, he's not an idiot. Of course he could tell if his boyfriend was struggling. But every single time, Keith would reassure that nothing's wrong and Lance is just imagining things. Keith would do his famous soft smile for this, normally kissing Lance lightly after each time. But, even this didn't help. All he could think of when he kissed Lance was " _Shiro's probably kissed Lance. Probably recently. Oh god, this means I'm kissing Shiro!"_ He would normally always wear a face of disgust before walking away quickly, leaving a very confused and hurt Lance. 

Being the leader of Voltron, Shiro decided that he and Keith did need an intervention. So, one very eventful day, he hurriedly stopped Keith just as he was about to go into his room and said, "hey, can we talk?" 

Keith, not wanting to make a fuss, shrugged casually. "Sure." 

Shiro sighed and stepped into Keith's room. "Keith, we only want to help. There's clearly something on your mind and I know it might seem painful, but opening up about it could help you." 

He looked at Keith with such hopeful eyes Keith almost felt safe for a minute. Then, every molecule in his body turned to pure rage. "You want to know my problem, Shiro? You." 

"What??" 

"I know what you're up to. I see you all day, flirting with him in your private sparring sessions, laughing with him. I know your deal with Lance." 

"Keith, I don't know what anyone's told you but that's not anywhere close to being true. Why would I go behind your back?" 

"Fine. Make yourself the big fucking hero, but I know what you're playing at. So it stops. Now." Keith growled, sending shivers down Shiro's spine. 

"Keith, nothing is happening." 

Keith finally snapped, lunging himself at Shiro and choking him. "FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!" 

At the noise coming from outside, Lance, Hunk and Pidge rushed in, Lance saying, "Keith, what the fuck are you doing?!" before pulling him off Shiro. 

Keith laughed crazily. "Sure, help this son of a bitch!!" He continued shouting obscenities as Lance, Shiro, Hunk and Pidge left his room. They were all terrified of their fellow paladin, friend and (in one case) lover.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick detour into an insight of what one of Keith's dreams are like now...

_Keith opened his eyes and groaned. He was somewhere on the ship but not sure_ _where. All he knew was that he could hear laughter coming from the dining room, so inevitably that's where he went._

_When he got there, he definitely found the source of the laughter. Of course it was Lance, giggling as Shiro kissed his sweet, caramel neck and leaving hickeys. Lance moaned a little as Shiro's hands smoothly wrapped themselves around his waist, pulling the two of them ever closer together. And all Keith could do was watch in horror and disgust until he finally uttered pathetically, "Lance?"_

_At that point, Lance looked up with apathy and rolled his eyes when he saw Keith. "Oh great. What you here for, gonna lecture me about something?"_

_Keith looked broken and tried to stutter out words, much to Lance's amusement. "Babe, come here. Keith can't even say one word - how feeble" Lance sneered. "Bet you thought I liked being with you, didn't you? I would bet money that you thought I actually cared about you and that we would spend the rest of our days together. Of course that would never happen, Keith. Look at you. Nothing like a real man." He laughed harshly and kissed Shiro again, this time looking at Keith with poisonous eyes._

_Choking with anger, Keith ran out of the room, bumping into Pidge and Hunk. "What the fuck?!"_

_Pidge shrugged. "I tried to warn you but I guess Shiro and Lance were just meant to be together. Don't worry Keith, you'll find someone one day." Both of them were smirking as they said this, knowing full well that would never happen._

_And all Keith could do was run, run, run far away from the haunting of Shiro and Lance, until all he did was stand there and scream and scream and scream and scream_ until he woke up every night, sweating like crazy.

If Freud was here, he would clearly say that Keith needed help. Well, fuck Freud, right Keith?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw: attempted suicide

Throughout the next couple of weeks, all of the rest of the team kept an eye on Keith, who was now firmly confined to his room. He couldn't train in case he had another outburst of anger and in case Zarkon would attack, it was decided that Allura would replace Keith. All for the best.

Alas, this did not help poor Keith. All it did was worsen his paranoia and send him into a deep, dark well of depression from which there was no basket to escape. He frequently had panic attacks and one of the paladins would have to rush in to make sure he wasn't hurting himself at all. He was also given tons of pills to keep him stable, so that he wouldn't do anything stupid. 

This not only hurt him, but also Lance and Shiro. Shiro wouldn't tell anyone, let alone Lance, why Keith attacked him and so Lance was just heartbroken. He wanted to help Keith all he could but whenever he went in to give Keith food or smile at him, Keith would get this glassy look over his eyes and Lance would see his bottom lip trembling slightly. He hated that he couldn't even understand why he was causing his boyfriend so much pain. Had he said anything?! He tried to recall in his brain but nothing strange or unusual popped up. They barely fought, and when they did they made up almost immediately. So Lance was at a lost. 

Shiro was just as much at a lost as Lance. Keith was like his little brother. Hell, when Lance wanted to date him, Shiro scrutinised him so much Lance thought Shiro was going to kick him off the team. So, why would Keith attack him? The only times Keith had snapped at him were when he said he might not make it back from Kerberos or when he told Keith he would be the next black paladin. And, he hadn't mentioned those things in ages. So what was it? 

There was one day, however, that it all came to its crashing crescendo. Keith was definitely at his lowest, moping around his room when something in his brain just clicked. As often the case with depression, it was just one thought. That led to another. That led to more and more distorted cognitions in his brain until he looked in the mirror in his room and stared at himself with such self-hatred, such disgust and such contempt that he didn't want to dry. He didn't want to scream. He solely wanted to pluck himself out of existence and silence his breathing. And so, ladies and gentlemen and all in-between, Keith picked up his pills that Pidge had carefully manipulated to only give him one at a time, and smashed the bottle again and again and again. The anger was piling up inside of him as he laughed with such sinisterness, down in hell Lucifer felt shivers down his spine. Keith destroyed the bottle until pills spewed out across the room until he gobbled them down like childhood sweets. And with the feeling of satisfaction and loathing, he finally saw his room for the very last time and breathed his last breath for the very last time. 

Until two shaking, smooth as cream hands carried him all the way down the hall into a much-needed healing pod.


	6. Chapter 6

Keith did spend several days in the healing pod, and of course Lance was outside his pod every single second. He hated himself for allowing this to happen to Keith and he always believed it was his fault, no matter who reassured him.

Eventually however, the whoosh of the door opened and Keith swayed for what seemed like hours before Lance heroically ran to prop up his boyfriend. Unfiltered tears poured down his face as he hugged Keith, his nose buried into his mullet. After they embraced (well Lance embraced Keith), Lance looked directly at Keith and simply apologised over and over again. "I love you Keith. So so much. And I want to help you, no matter what the problem is. Please, Keith. Why did you try to kill yourself?" 

Keith looked down at the ground as his feet wobbled. "Because you're in love with someone else." He looked up at Lance to reveal tears of his own. "I know it, Pidge told me so I thought I'd be better out of the picture." 

Lance looked horrified and startled all at once. "Why would I love anyone else? Keith, you are my everything. I couldn't live without you, I can't do anything without you." 

It was like someone had taken a bulldozer to Keith's walls as he collapsed onto Lance, holding onto him for dear life as his face crumpled. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I-I just thought - Shiro. I couldn't live with you rejecting me, Lance. Please don't leave me." Those four words exposed Keith's fear right in an instant. 

Lance led him over to the couch and lay down with Keith on top of him, stroking Keith's hair assuringly. "Shhh, I'm not leaving babe." He leant over to plant a kiss on Keith's forehead and held his hand, squeezing it tight to comfort Keith. "Keith, I won't ever reject you. I couldn't bare to live with myself if you had died, ok? I love you, Keith Kogane." 

Keith wiped his face and smiled a little. "I love you too, Lance. I just had a lot of things running through my mind and it all became so destructive and I kept having these dreams and hallucinations and I couldn't deal with it. But we're in space so we can't focus on one person's problems. You know, work for the greater cause? So, I didn't want to tell anyone because hey, the Galra won't leave us alone just because one person isn't feeling ok." 

"I know but we could try to help you, Keith. That's why we're here. I mean, Shiro's still going through some stuff and we all help him out when we can. We don't work well if we suffer in silence. Please, mi amor, you have to tell us." 

Keith sniffled a little. "Ok. I'll try, Lance. Won't be easy though. There's a lot going on in here" he motioned to his head. "Just ask Shiro," he chuckled dryly. 

"That's ok, Keith. One step at a time. I'm just glad you're here now, with me cradling you in my arms." 

Keith raised a humorous eyebrow. "So you do remember!" And they laughed, the demons of Keith's mind slipping further and further away into oblivion, once again proving love is the greatest gift of all.


End file.
